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Rock City - Funny Quotes

Quotes 1 - 1998 - 1999 - 2000 - 2001 - 2002 - Funny - Strange -

Here are all the quotes, in one long list that takes forever to read. Enjoy!
"There's nothing wrong with being a loser... It just depends how good you are at it." --Billie Joe Armstrong
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." --Plato
"She's very quiet, but you look at her, and you know that behind those eyes, she's plotting the overthrow of the existing regime." --Catherine Dimenstien
"Halloween is Satanic!" "If candy is satanic, then I'm the devil." --bathroom wall during October
"It's not denial. I'm just very selective about the reality I accept." --Bill Watterson
"Duct tape is like the force: It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together."
"He was sexy in his darkness, the very reason villians are rooted for more than heroes." --Daphne Lange
"If I had a life, I'd hate it." --Rizzo the Rat
"Never understood what my body was for, thats why I always leave it laying out on the floor" --Phish
"You'd be surprised how often saying nothing is the strongest argument you can make." --Myrddin
"God moves in mysterious ways; for every masochist he creates a sadist; Marriages are made in Heaven." --Robert A. Heinlein
"Love your enemies in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards." --R.A. Dickson
"She said, you know, me and Jesus are of the same heart, the only thing that keeps us distant is that I keep fucking up." --The Indigo Girls
"I'm not going to say anything inspirational, I'm just going to fucking swear a lot." --Billie Joe Armstrong
"Going to Dennys and saying 'I didn't get good food' is equivalent to saying 'I didn't feel loved' when walking out of a whorehouse"
"You seem cool for a naked chick in a booth, lets be pals someday. In other words, put some clothes on and call me." --PUSA
"Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday"
"Love is what still goes on when you're not horny." --Robert A. Heinlein
"He kept getting pies in the face and everyone thought it was so funny. I didn't think it was so funny. They should have eaten the pies instead of throwing them at each other. If they were mad, why didn't they just knock the crap out of each other?" --from The Ruby Fruit Jungle
"If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the 'Fuck you' signs in the world. It's impossible." --from Catcher in the Rye
"I never did one thing right in my life, you know that? Not one. That takes skill." --from The Long Kiss Goodnight
"People think that I must be a very strange person. This is not correct. I have the heart of a small boy. It is in a glass jar on my desk." --Stephen King
"Everybody wants to be just like me, I'm naked and famous." --PUSA
"I know a little boy who told me he could easily have won a race at his school except there was another boy who ran faster." --Stephen Leacock
"One good thing about being young is that you are not experienced enough to know you cannot possibly do the things you are doing." --Gene Brown
"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know." --Groucho Marx
"My parents keep asking how school was. It's like saying, 'How was that drive-by shooting?' You don't care how it was, you're just lucky to get out alive." --from My So-Called Life
"I like having low self-esteem. It makes me feel special." --Jane Lane
"Know thyself. Later on, you can make believe you've never met." --Daria Morgandorffer
"All we are is dust in the wind. Dust. Wind. DUDE." --Ted "Theodore" Logan
"A Chicken McNugget doesn't die any easier than a baby fur seal." --Ted Nugent
"They think they're so high and mighty. Just cause they never got caught driving without pants." --Moe Sizlack
"Its because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everyone does everything." --Homer Simpson
"Desperation strike, my firm steely buttocks! I thought you were a fighter!" --Ryouga Hibiki
"The establishment doesn't want us having sex. They know it makes us feel good, right? So if we can feel good on our own, what do we need the establishment for? So, every time we have sex, its a huge protest" "I think I feel a huge protest coming on." --from That 70s Show
"I thought there's no use getting into heavy petting, it only leads to trouble and seat wetting" --Janet Weiss
"Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it" --from The Simpsons
"I never met anyone who so understood the magic of Jim Carrey" "Yes, he can make you laugh with nothing more than a frantic flailing of his limbs" --from the Simpsons
"Life is short and hard like a body building elf" --the Bloodhound Gang
"You may have to get up early to get the worm, but you can get pizza until midnight!" --Snoopy
"There's no need for that gun, commander" "That depends on your idea of safe sex" --from Goldeneye
"Thats the problem with the world today. No one takes the time to do a really sinister interrogation. Its a lost art" --from Goldeneye
"That's all I think I ever wanted, to go my own way and find some love here and there. Love, but not the now and forever kind with chains around your vagina and a short circuit in your brain" --from The Ruby Fruit Jungle (on marriage)
"Shhhh! Do you know what that means?" "You have a slow leak?" --from Animaniacs
"My dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be" --The Who
"We must get drunk immediately" --from Gattaca
"Every time something good happens to me, you guys say its some kind of madness. Or that I'm drunk. Or I ate too much candy. Well this time I'm not crazy" --from Futurama
"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one" --Charles Sykes
"Weaseling out of things is an important skill to learn. Its what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel" --Homer Simpson
"Sex is a shortcut to everything" --Anne Cumming
"An anthropologist once asked a Hopi why so many of his people's songs were about rain. The Hopi replied that it was because water is so scarce. Is that why so many of your songs are about love?" --Gregory McNamee
"If there's one thing we know, its science. And math. And the words to every Monty Python routine. We are the knights who say ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!" --from the Simpsons
"No Ma'am, we at the FBI do not have a sense of humor we are aware of" --from Men In Black
"If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half assed. That's the American way." --Homer Simpson
"I want to share something with you: the three sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: 'Cover for me .' Number 2: 'Oh, good idea boss.' Number 3: 'It was like that when I got here.'" --Homer Simpson
"I'm not evil, I'm just good looking!" --Alice Cooper
"Look Brain, I mean Mr. er, um, Turkey-Lurkey. It's Purple!" "I'm Kawasaki. You're Turkey Lurkey." "I don't think that's a very nice thing to say about a person, Brain" --from Pinky and the Brain
"I am not under any obligation to make the world a better place." --from Reality Bites
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." --Mark Twain
"Not all who wander are lost." --J.R.R Tolkein
"No one is a virgin, life has screwed us all."
"Remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fly off" --me
"I wish I had a kryptonite cross, that way I could defeat superman and dracula at the same time" --some crazy guy
"If you can't have fun with four dozen inflated rubber hands, you're just not trying!" --from Cheers
"If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle." --Rita Mae Brown
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." --Mae West
"Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us worthy evidence of the fact." --George Eliot
"They send you off to college to try to gain a little knowledge, but all you wanna do is learn how to score!" --Jimmy Buffet
"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." --Albert Einstein
"Two girls driving around in a phallic RV, handing out things you blow. What a great country." --Steven Hyde on the Oscar Meyer Weenie Mobile
"You don't have bad luck. The reason why bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." --Red Forman
"We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction." --General Douglas MacArthur
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." --Albert Einstein
"Heterosexuality isn't normal, it's just common." --Derek Jarman
"It will yet be the proud boast of women that they never contributed a line to the Bible." --George W. Foote
"Habit is probably the greatest block to seeing truth." --R.A. Schwallerda Lipicz
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises." --Neil Armstrong
"Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them." --Bill Vaughn
"Stupidity got us into this mess. Why can't it get us out?" --Will Rogers
"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." --Janis Joplin
"I don't drink Pepsi. I hate the way it represents the next generation of smiling people. Now Coke, it even sounds like a narcotic. Plus, it has fascist coloring. You really have to bow to Coca-Cola." --Marilyn Manson
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." --Mark Twain
"A heretic is a man who sees with his own eyes." --Gotthold Ephraim Lessing
"Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs." --Lily Tomlin
"Wit is educated insolence." --Aristotle
"I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude." --Henry David Thoreau
"Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions." --David Borenstein
"Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while." --Kin Hubbard
"Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked." --Jeff Pesis
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila." --Mitch Ratliffe
"Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window." --Steve Wozniak
"Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable." --Anon.
"Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half, of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them." --Walter Kerr
"We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love on another." --Jonathan Swift
"Pretty much all the honest truth-telling there is in the world is done by children." --Oliver Wendell Holmes
"You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad." --Aldous Huxley
"The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes." --Gore Vidal
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." --Albert Einstein
"Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy." --Nora Ephron
"True friends stab you in the front." --Oscar Wilde
"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch." --Orson Welles
"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened." --Douglas Adams
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be." --Douglas Adams
"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon." --Woody Allen
"Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?" --Kelvin Throop III
"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." --George Bernard Shaw
"Living in a vacuum sucks." --Adrienne Gusoff
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." --Anon
"If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee". --Anon
"You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap." -- Dolly Parton
"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months." -- Oscar Wilde
"Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for your face." -- Anita Wise
"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally." -- W. C. Fields
"You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone." -- Al Capone
"Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric." -- Bertrand Russell
"You're born naked and you die naked. End of story." "You don't die naked." "If you plan it right you do." --from the Drew Carey Show
"I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy." -- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board
"Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done." -- Ernie Kovacs
"I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that M&Ms really do melt in your hand." -- Peter Oakley
"Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand." -- Charles Pierce
"The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist." -- Aaron Machado
"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do." -- Olin Miller
"Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained." -- John Powell
"You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance." -- Edward Flaherty
"I never apologize. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am." --Homer Simpson
"Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." -- Edgar Allan Poe
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." --Douglas Adams
"We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for." -- Marie Ebner von Eschenbach
"As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life - so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls." -- M. Cartmill
"And remember, no matter where you go, there you are." -- from Buckaroo Banzai
"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." -- Will Rogers
"Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards." -- Robert Heinlein
"In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others." -- Andre Maurois
"If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else." -- Laurence J. Peter
"All general statements are false." --from The Ultimate Law
"The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things." -- Jilly Cooper
"A little nonsense now and then is cherished by the wisest men." -- Roald Dahl
"Never believe anything until it has been officially denied." -- Claud Cockburn
"Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted." -- Aldous Huxley
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." -- George Bernard Shaw
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx
"A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world." -- Edmond de Concourt
"Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose." --Andy Rooney
"The Sausage Principle: People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either one being made." --Anon
"Smith & Wesson: The original point-and-click interface." --Anon
"Friends are just enemies who don't have enough guts to kill you." --Judy Tenuta
"For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong." --H.L. Menchken
"Fig Newton: The force required to accelerate a fig 39.37 inches/sec." --J. Hart
"Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. " --Nick Diamos
"To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so." --Robert Orben
"One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important." -- Bertrand Russell
"There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence." -- Henry Adams
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." -- Rich Cook
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windsheild, it said 'Parking Fine.' That was so nice." --Anon
"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." -- William Dement
"Yes, being an adult is a drag, but the orgasms are terrific." --Matt Groening
"I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me." -- John Cleese
"What ever happened to Fay Ray, that delicate, satin-draped frame? As it clung to her thigh, how I started to cry, because I wanted to be dressed just the same." --Dr. Frank-n-furter
"Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties." -- Doug Larson
"Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast." -- Oscar Wilde
"A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin." -- H. L. Mencken
"Never fight an inanimate object." -- P. J. O'Rourke
"An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing." --J.O.D.
"Its funny when people get hurt. Especially when they're in their underwear." --Michael Kelso
"You get your PHD, how happy you will be when you get a job at Wendy's and are honored with employee of the month" --The Barenaked Ladies
"Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." --Rev. Pat Robertson, 1992 GOP Convention
"Life is too short to spend it with people who annoy you." --Red Forman
"Don't mistake lack of talent for genius." --Type O Negative
"The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born." --Elayne Boosler
"Poor deluded creature. We caught him pilfering in our club, embezzeling funds, selling drugs...now he's dressing up like Santa Claus. Very sordid business." --from Trading Places
"Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying." --joke of the day
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped." -- Elbert Hubbard
"Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything. -- Herb Caen
"A picture may be worth a thousand words but it also uses up a thousand times more computer memory." --anon
"Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others." -- Jonathan Winters
"An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger." -- Dan Rather
"I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day." --anon
"There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge." --Bertrand Russell
"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." -- Mark Twain
"Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment." -- Barry LePatner
"Maybe this world is another planet's hell." -- Aldous Huxley
"The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'." -- Larry Hardiman
"Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories - those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost." - Russell Baker
"Kids are great. You can teach them to hate all the things you hate. And they practically raise themselves, what with the internet and all" --Homer Simpson
"You may be right, I may be crazy. But it just might be a lunatic you're looking for" --Billy Joel
"Have you ever killed a moth? Did you ever stop to think about how the moth's friends will feel when it never comes home? No? Do you know why? Because moths don't have any friends. That's why pro-lifers are dumb." --Yum-Pop
"Can you imagine what prom on the Klingon homeworld would be like?" --Jon
"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" -- Charles M. Schulz
"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking." -- H. L. Mencken
"If any of your friends have fooled around with a 60 year old man, do not throw them out of your car. Or you will die." --Adam Sandler, "Memory Lane"
"You make me feel so good 'cause you're so bad" --Aerosmith, "Walk on Water"
"I've read the Bible three times this week, and nowhere do I find mention of using marshmallow Peeps to honor Jesus." --from Elle magazine
"Truly, can you imagine anything more boring than fashion? Professional sports, perhaps. Grown men swatting little balls, while the rest of the world pays money to applaud. But on the whole I find fashion even more tedious than sports." --from Jurassic Park (the book, stupid!!)
"All the best bands are affiliated with Satan." --Bart Simpson
"If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?" --Pinky
"The sun shines but I don't" --the Smashing Pumpkins, Farewell
"I get stoned on you" --Aerosmith, Deuces are Wild
"I'm so scary, they call me Joey Terrifying. Did you know that? (yeah) No you didn't, I was lying." --ICP
"Always go to other peoples' funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours." -- Yogi Berra
"The shortest distance between two points is under construction." -- Noelie Altito
"When they say the sun sucks, go yeah, fuck the sun, I fucking hate it too, long live the fucking beast." --Adam Sandler
"By the time I'd grown up, I naturally supposed that I'd be grown up." -- Eve Babitz
"It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do." -- Jerome K. Jerome
"Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything." -- Frank Dane
"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx
"There are few things more wearisome than the monotonous repitition of a phrase which catches and holds the public fancy by virtue of its total lack of significance." --Agnes Repplier
"Its so romantic. Just like West Side Story. Only without the dancing and the Puerto Ricans." --Jackie Burkhardt from That 70s Show
"Never try to tell everything you know. It may take too short a time." -- Norman Ford
"Sir, how would you like to get higher than you've ever been in your life?" "Be an astronaut? Sure!" --Barney Gumble and the NASA guy from the Simpsons
"The only danger is if they send us to that terrible planet of the apes. Wait a minute. Staute of Liberty....that was our planet! You monsters! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!!!" --Homer Simpson
"It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled sea of thought." -- John Kenneth Galbraith
"Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange." -- Robin Morgan
"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." -- Albert Camus
"Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles." -- Pat Paulsen
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." -- Mark Twain
"It's always the so-called normal guys that let you down. Sickos never scare me. At least they're committed." --Catwoman
"Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it." --anon
"I think that someone must have surveillance equipment set up in my living room, because every once in a while, someone on the TV will tell me what channel I'm watching. That really freaks me out, you know?" --Pam Stewart
"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line." -- Oscar Levant
"Never judge a book by its movie." -- J. W. Eagan
"When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half." -- Gracie Allen
"With Epcot Center the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life." -- P. J. O'Rourke
"Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong." -- Dandemis
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." -- Mark Twain
"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain." -- Lily Tomlin
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." -- Hunter S. Thompson
"There are very few problems that cannot be solved by orders ending with 'or die.'" -- Alistair J.R. Young
"I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, 'Have you got anything I'd like?' Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, 'Extra medium.'" --Steven Wright
"People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's in water. I guess it probably would be less traumatic for the baby, but certainly it's more traumatic for the other people in the pool." --Elayne Boosler
"Never let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool you." --Joey Adams
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." -- Sir Winston Churchill
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall down an open manhole cover and die." --Mel Brooks
"It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything." --Fight Club
"Do you ever wish you were a lesbian? Don't you think it would be so much easier?" "Sometimes, but I don't know. I could never go through with it. I'd start laughing or something." "That is such a shame because I have had it with men." --Vickie and Lelaina from "Reality Bites"
"There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?" --Dick Cavett
"It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue." --Voltaire
"Simply stated, it is sagacious to eschew obfuscation." --Norman Augustine
"People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time." --Ozzy Osbourne, "Paranoid"
"Sometimes love don't feel like it should, you make it hurt so good" --John Cougar Mellencamp, "Hurts So Good"
"Someone told me there's a girl out there, with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair" --Led Zeppelin, "Going to California" "I don't know why I spend my time writing songs I can't believe, with words that tear and strain to rhyme" --Paul Simon, "Kathy's Song"
"I love you more than I did the week before I discovered alchohol" --Barenaked Ladies, "Alchohol"
"Masquerading as a man with a reason, my charade is the event of the season. And if I claim to be wise man, it surely means that I don't know" --Kansas, "Carry On Wayward Son"
"Rulers make bad lovers, you better put your kingdom up for sale" --Fleetwood Mac, "Gold Dust Woman"
"Its no secret we're close like sweaty velcro, like latex fur and feathers stuck together" --Type O Negative, "My Girlfriend's Girlfriend"
"Hate hate hate hatred for all - one and all, no matter what you believe, don't believe in you - and that's true." --Type O Negative, "We Hate Everyone"
"I don't give a damn if you don't like me cause I don't like you cause you're not like me" --Bloodhound Gang, "Shut Up"
"So sexy, almost evil." --Crazy Town, "Butterfly"
"What's that, now you say life sucks? Well, 99% of it is what you make of it, so if your life sucks, YOU SUCK!" --Suicidal Tendencies
"I just want to live in a cave and eat junk food for the rest of my life." --Veronica from "Splendor"
"I do have a test today, that wasn't bullshit. Its on European Socialism. Really, what's the point? I'm not European, I don't plan on being European, so who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be facist anarchists, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car." --Ferris Bueller
F: "We can't pick up Sloan in your car. Mr Roony would never believe Mr Peterson drives your piece of shit." C: "It's not a piece of shit." F: "It is a piece of shit. Don't worry, I don't even have piece of shit, I have to envy yours." C: "Oh, thanks." --Ferris and Cameron
Slocumbe: "'Sechs Unterhosen.' What's that mean?" Peacock: "'Unterhosen' literallynow means 'under trousers.'" Brahms: "Under trousers? You mean knickers?" Slocumbe: "I'm not selling any German sex knickers." Peacock" "'Sechs' is the German word for six." Brahms: "Oh. What do they use for sex then?" Mesch: "Same thing everyone else uses." --from "Are You Being Served?"
"These are my only friends, grown-up nerds like Gore Vidal. And even he's kissed more boys than I ever will." "Girls, Lisa. Boys kiss girls." --Lisa and Marge
"I like looking at pretty people because they are pretty to look at." --Brenda
"When he wrinkles his forehead, his forehead gets all wrinkly." --Jen

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