Lars Gloats upon first Napster ruling

By Slim Shady

Lars of Metallica issued a statement in response to the courts first decision against Napster. His statement reads as follows: (with our responses are in parenthesis)

We are delighted (party hearty you motherfuckers) that the Court has upheld the rights of all artists (these rights no longer belong to the artists, they were sold in a contract to their Record Company long ago) to protect and control (just like Big Brother controls) their creative efforts. (don't you mean "pricefixing" efforts?) In what we feel (we don't give a shit what you feel) is a heroic (heroic in that you saved all those multimillionaire record company execs jobs) and historic decision, (historic in that it will lead to the downfall of these record companies and yourself)

Judge Patel confirmed that musicians, songwriters, filmmakers, authors, visual artists, and other members of the creative community are entitled to the same copyright protections online that they have traditionally been afforded offline.

(We disagree with Judge Patel's interpretation of the law. The online rights are NOT the same. Online rights cannot be protected the same either. If it's so easy to steal that anyone can do it anytime without getting caught, it is no longer stealing, and anyone trying to enforce it will be scorned by the public, just as the record companies and Metallica is now.)

Hank Barry, David Boies and the rest of Napster's legal team left no stone unturned in this battle, and we respect that. (you gloating son of a bitch, you motherfucker, this is like laughing at a victim after winning a fight, saying you gave your best fight and I still fucked you over) (I also disagree with the statement, and don't think Napster used the right or the best defense)
However, a society that does not value intellectual property is a poorer society (poorer than you, you rich motherfucking sellout bastard. How's you multimillion dollar mansion on the beach these days? You look like an idiot talking about the "poorer society"), both economically and esthetically. (obviously, from this gloating letter, and your greedy vigor at shutting down the world's most popular music site, you don't know public esthetics at all)

In her decision, Judge Patel uncompromisingly endorsed this country's long tradition of encouragement of works of the mind. We thank and applaud her for that. ("gloat" and say "I told you so" is more like it.)

We also want to thank our fans (what's left) for standing behind us in this fight. We believe that they -- and in fact most people in this country -- are as uncomfortable as we are with the idea that stealing, (what you call stealing, we don't) by whatever means, (the internet is the means, you don't have to put "whatever") is O.K. (yes, it's OK cause you can't stop it, and if it can't be stopped, it's not stealing.)

The Court's decision is a welcome affirmation of that belief system. (you mean the greed belief system, not the consumer's belief system)

Lars wasnŐt the only one gloating over the first judge ruling. The American Federation of Musicians (The MusicianŐs Union) sent us a fax patting themselves on the back and saying that Napster and other similiar websites on the internet were letting the public become Óthieves.Ó They compared it to stealing from a record store.

(Stealing from In Sinc and New Kids on the Block is more like it)